Saturday, November 15, 2008

Module 3: Research & Writing Across the Curriculum Rough Draft Changes

When writing my paper, I naturally had to make some adjustments from my rough draft. Besides the expected fine-tuning, editing, and adding of details and examples, I made two major changes.

The first major adjustment I made from my rough draft outline was switching around the order of the first two paragraphs. I felt like the article I had originally chosen to put second fit better as the first paragraph because it was more general. It simply proved that people overeat when in social situations and gave a couple reasons why. I felt like the other article (that I had originally chosen to go first) went better in the second paragraph because it built upon this issue further and demonstrated the potential problem that it caused and why it may cause obesity. This article proved that while people do overeat in social situations, most of this overeating was inadvertent, which presents a major problem for maintaining healthy diet.

The second major change I made was completely changing the third article. I felt like the article I originally had focused more on the gender issues of eating around others, whereas I wanted to focus more on overeating and obesity. I feel like the article I put in now flows better with the topic, because while it does clearly agree with the main point of the other two articles (eating is influenced by social factors), it also presents a different point that eating in front of strangers, may in fact reduce overeating, which could be a potential benefit and may help in maintaining a healthy diet.

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